gaiman country
On a flight heading toward that vast tundra called Minnesota, we were seated behind the Crone, the Hag, and the Maiden. The Crone bore a significant resemblance to THE Crone of the Kindly Ones, having reducing her youth by draining her glass of Jack on the rocks and chain smoking at the penny slots. She looked like she'd gone to see the boss about not yet cutting her own thread and looked like hell. The Hag was probably in her mid to late twenties and looked more like the maiden, but if I had mentioned something about her age, imaginary wrinkles would probably have taken root at the corners of her eyes, crows feet spreading from the corners of her mouth and she would have bounded to the nearest botox clinic to arrest her brain from forming a phantom facial topographical map. The young maiden was heavily disguised as a man with shoulder length, straw colored hair and a 9 o'clock shadow scruffily sprouting from around the face.The flight was only two hours forty minutes, but I've never felt my ears burn interminably, trying to stop my leg from reflex kicking the Crone and Old Hag in front of Dylan's seat. The Crone, in absolute desperation invoked the man from the heavens as Dylan's peals of laughter kept her awake beyond belief, at 7 am. The Hag on the other hand, must have had failing eyesight as she kept turning to give Dylan a good look, trying to possibly transfix a spell, but failing miserably as he kept squealing and giggling at Tom and Jerry and kicking the Crone's seat in turn. Maiden was out like a light, mouth half open, oblivious to the goings on.
You can only tell a child to a point to please behave, but 4 year olds simply don't have the attention span, and if it's your lot to sit in front of one, you might as well tell yourself that next time, you either walk to Minnesota, or ask to be moved to another seat. There were other children on the flight and made just as much noise - children are known to do that early in the day, especially when the day is just beginning. So, to the Crone, Hag, and Maiden in seats 28 A thru C, I hope you stumbled out of the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport completely sleep deprived and with the voice of children's laughter ringing in your ears for many days to come!
At least the flight to New York was devoid of abrasive characters.
8:22 AM | |
